What about the rapist?

I recently read an article on the BBC as part of their 100 women of 2016.  They cover women that are influential and inspirational women around the world. This particular article is focused on a female psychologist, Erin Sweeny, that works with rehabilitating rapists.  In discussing her work, Sweeny shares that she believes that the commonality between all of her clients behavior is often related to neglect or abuse growing up.  She recognizes the role that media plays in the objectification of women as well as a struggle with intimacy.  Furthermore, she separates the individual from their behavior and tries to look for something redeemable about the person.  In addition, she believes that if treatment is performed with the correct principles, this can lead to change in the sex offender's life. 

This article provides a unique perspective on a rape act.  First, in comparison to our class discussions, we did not have any conversation surrounding the health care that rapists receive (possibly related to a sentence that was given).  While this care is important in preventing future rapes and/or assaults yet doesn't guarantee that it won't happen again, I think it is important to also think about the well-being of the psychologist that is treating the individual.  In the article, Sweeny discussed how it was difficult at times to separate even herself from what the rapists were telling her.  She would be infuriated with the details they told her.  And this, once again, speaks to what we discussed in class--how a single act of rape can effect more than just the target, target's family, perpetrator, etc.  The act extends beyond and to others. 

The other perspective this addresses is how rapists are viewed.  That is, Sweeny still views the rapist as a person that is separate from the act that they committed.  I must admit, I myself find that hard to do.  Especially when considering the violent nature of rape.  But perhaps that is the approach she must take in order to protect herself emotionally while trying to encourage the rapist that they are more than the act to help with rehabilitation.  It must be noted, I'm far from being a psychologist and am unaware of the approach that should be taken with rapists.  These are just speculations at best.  But it still should be evaluated for what it appears.  And I just have a hard time making that separation.

I guess what I am struggling with reconciling is the idea that if someone makes a mistake--no matter what it is--will someone be able to forgive me and see that I can overcome the mistake that I made.  I don't want to trivialize a rape as a mistake.  This isn't the point at all.  But it is still an important idea.  How can a family member forgive a murderer that took away someone?  How can a psychologist find a redeeming aspect of a rapist? 

Perhaps this is a question that can only be answered by the person extending the forgiveness.